By Ben Thompson
From sex-crazed gods to starving monsters, Ben Thompson brings mythical titans to lifestyles in stories of experience, bloodlust, and unrelenting badassitude.
because the starting of human historical past humans have created myths, tall stories, superheroes, and arch-villains—men and girls who launched into insane adventures, played amazing feats of exceptional awesomeness, and overcame all odds to violently smite their foes into bloody pulp. In Badass: The start of a Legend, Ben Thompson compiles those fantastical stories from the start of time to this present day and tells them within the thoroughly over-the-top demeanour during which they have been meant, together with:
The Indian god-king who led a military of monkeys opposed to the King of All Demons
The Viking god of thunder and impressive hair, who beaten the skulls of giants with a ridiculously large hammer
An Anglo-Saxon hero so hardcore he might arm-wrestle monsters' joints out in their sockets
The hate-filled literary behemoth who obliterated send hulls along with his face
The Norse necromancer queen who summoned a horde of zombie berserkers
Dirty Harry Callahan
The prototypical modern day antihero and extremely embodiment of badass
From Publishers Weekly
In his first ebook, Badass, Thompson, writer of the website badassoftheweek.com, inquisitive about warlords, samurai, pirates, and gunfighters who truly existed; during this follow-up, he turns to mythological badasses all through background. From Anubis and Zeus to Capt. James T. Kirk and Godzilla, Thompson promises precise and adrenaline-fueled screeds on forty characters "whose tales of ball-crushing conquest are nonetheless striking adequate to make even the tamest readers are looking to take hold of up a sword and pass attempting to find dragon meat." topics contain El Chupacabra ("this freakadelic ass-reaming spawn of Satan"); Diomedes ("the wanton slaughter of faceless jobbers is simply the start of awesomeness"); and, in a long-overdue tribute, the Daleks from healthcare professional Who ("these murderous, computerized salt-shakers are vile constructs of natural evil"). thankfully, the ebook contains badass ladies in addition to males, and Thompson's overheated prose rises even additional whilst describing the Indian goddess Kali: "When she's now not eating the entrails of the gods, getting under the influence of alcohol on human blood, acting her Dance of Annihilation... she shoots blood out of her mouth like a hearth hose... she's pretty well the main completely steel being ever." (Mar.)
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Ben Thompson has run the warhammer of an internet site badassoftheweek.com considering the fact that 2004, and has written funny history-related columns for shops comparable to Cracked, Fangoria, Penthouse, and the yankee Mustache Institute. even supposing he's by no means flown a jetpack over the Atlantic Ocean or punched a person so tough that his head exploded, he's thought of through many to be the world's most well known professional on badassitude. His first publication, Badass, used to be published in 2009.
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Extra resources for Badass: The Birth of a Legend: Spine-Crushing Tales of the Most Merciless Gods, Monsters, Heroes, Villains, and Mythical Creatures Ever Envisioned
The dude’s thoroughly leveled that urban like 100 occasions, but these wacky jap simply preserve rebuilding it basically to by some means nonetheless act like they’re fairly inexplicably shocked whilst Godzilla exhibits up and trashes it back. after all, Godzilla isn't out to only spoil the total inhabitants of Japan—he additionally enjoys beating the pants off of the significant array of surprising mutated monsters who dare to step on his turf. It doesn’t subject how loopy the article is, what number heads it has, or what weird and wonderful melty substance it shoots out of a few a part of its physique, Godzilla simply emits his trademark ear-piercing, window-shattering scream, beats his chest like an enormous eco-friendly Tarzan, and starts off Greco-Roman-wrestling the large cockroach until eventually its hands holiday off and it will get its limbless physique used as a surfboard. He’s received mad Bruce Lee kung-fu talents and a tail that grants extra strength than the demonic love-child of an F5 twister, a ten. five earthquake, and a class five typhoon, and if that doesn’t knock his enemy out of motion, he shoots an immense beam of blue atomic strength out of his mouth and immolates whatever he desires together with his mouth-deployed blowtorch. not anyone can screw with him—he’s taken out Ghidrah, Mecha Ghidra, Jet Jaguar, Megalon, Rodan, Mothra, Gigan, Anguirus, Biollante, house Godzilla, and Mecha Godzilla (and a host of alternative surprisingly named beasts that can or would possibly not function the best variety of servos and steel plates to earn them the identify “Mecha”) and became all of them into great bloody smears (and gears) around the jap nation-state. He’s the King of the Monsters, and he’s prepared to turn out it to any large, two-hundred-foot-tall, carnivorous, fire-breathing, flying, consuming computing device that thinks it may possibly entrance on him. occasionally, while he will get bored, he even joins up tag-team with different monsters in epic four-way significant monster fights, that's beautiful rad. as though it’s no longer badass adequate that Godzilla is a giant lizard that degrees towns, eats Humvees, and judo-throws huge floating moths into the perimeters of Mount Fiji, he’s additionally entire what few actors in heritage ever have—he’s received his personal celebrity at the Hollywood stroll of repute. no longer too many jogging apocalypses obtain awards for his or her performing skill and on-screen presence, yet there you pass. * * * creating a turtle look badass isn't any effortless job, but the video-game villain Bowser has by some means wedged himself into pop culture as some of the most iconic electronic undesirable men ever coded right into a database-a-tron. lined in a thick, Fireflower-proof carapace coated with spikes and inexplicably blessed with a really awesome vertical jump, flame breath, and the power to throw dozens of hammers at the same time with unnerving accuracy, Bowser has made rather a occupation out of kidnapping oblivious princesses and confining them inside of an unlimited variety of towers surrounded by way of relatively angry-looking monsters and impractically deep pit traps. The bane of plumbing aficionados all over the place, Bowser doubtless has little use for princesses as soon as they’re below his keep an eye on, but nonetheless seeks to kidnap them just to convey the realm that he’s an enormous bastard.