By Dan Dunn
Read the publication Sammy Hagar calls "kick-ass, balls to the wall rock n roll cranked to ear-bleed levels."
Many humans drink, few do it professionally. My identify is Dan Dunn and that i eat alcohol for a living.
That’s correct. i am getting paid to run round boozing, carousing, and stepping into all demeanour of hassle, all within the identify of overlaying the “adult beverage beat” for some of the most iconic manufacturers on the earth, Playboy.
I hereby invite you to hitch me, as I behavior “revealing” inn room interviews with porn stars in l. a.; pass Zip Cat racing in Scotland with Stifler from American Pie; flip the notoriously posh Pebble Peach Wine event into the chance for a 3-day bender (thank God for my trusty voice recorder); take pleasure in whiskey-fueled romantic encounters in alleyways in the back of East Village watering holes; get forcibly faraway from a boxing fit at a Vegas on line casino (thanks to an unlucky false impression concerning plenty of liquor, and the flag of Cuba); get dumped via my stripper/med pupil female friend (mid-lap dance, no much less) easily for no longer being "husband material;” get up bare on a big-shot Hollywood producer’s lounge ground; and research, the difficult means, why by no means to reserve an Irish automobile bomb in a Dublin pub.
Along the way in which, I’ll percentage with you the hard-won knowledge from a lifestyles lived loaded, together with find out how to amass a kick-ass selection of bar memorabilia, to how you can be Yankee and live to tell the tale bars within the sticks, to tips on how to preserve the right buzz in the course of air trip. And for these of you actually interested by cocktails, I’ve even incorporated sixteen unique recipes created just for this e-book by the world's best-known practitioners of the mixocological arts. you could thank me later.
A bawdy barroom confessional that leaves no shot glass un-shot, no beer un-chugged, no power paramour un-hit-upon, this is often the main interesting and sincere ebook in regards to the ingesting existence ever written. at the least, ever written by way of me.
Preview of Living Loaded: Tales of Sex, Salvation, and the Pursuit of the Never-Ending Happy Hour PDF
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Extra resources for Living Loaded: Tales of Sex, Salvation, and the Pursuit of the Never-Ending Happy Hour
What upset me so much, notwithstanding, was once that I’d damaged one in all my very own cardinal ideas approximately … find out how to now not damage Your existence whereas ingesting 1) by no means do inebriated what you wouldn’t do sober. except it includes the subsequent: remarkable up conversations with supermodels, working with bulls in Pamplona, flashing your boobs on Bourbon highway, buying underwear and intercourse toys, striking out with Gary Busey, filling out your census shape, fielding calls from telemarketers, bowling, consuming microwave burritos at a. m. , telling your asshole coworker to head fuck himself, flashing your boobs in Pamplona, sending lurid messages for your fb neighbors’ most well liked fb neighbors, shaving your head, bare skateboarding, telling your asshole roommate to head fuck herself, or writing a e-book. word that i didn't contain whatever approximately responding to e-mails from strangers who change into your boss’s boss. 2) Don’t shit the place you consume. We went over this in bankruptcy 10, whilst I observed hooking up with the employees at your favourite bar. you will get laid once or twice, certain. might be it's going to even become a pleasant little fling. but if, necessarily, issues cross south with the hottie who slings beverages at your personal own Cheers, she’ll return to paintings and inform you to visit hell—hell being wherever yet her bar. after which the place are you going to observe Phillies video games and consume red meat chops drizzled in apple chutney and balsamic relief, you fucking moron? WHERE?!!! Oh, God, this can be too painful. relocating on … three) whilst making judgements with girls, follow the 70 percentage rule. this is applicable to all judgements extra major than what to devour or what motion picture you need to see (for these, don’t even waste a while; simply permit her have her way). For all matters with graver results than this (Should we circulation in jointly? maintain the infant? swap our fb statuses to “It’s complicated”? ), you want to do a little fast math on your head. Tally the 10 most up-to-date instances you and this woman have been jointly. have been you ingesting seriously on seven or extra of these events (i. e. , 70 percent)? if this is the case, the answer's no. no matter what it really is she wishes, if you want to get wasted round this individual to discover her tolerable, the answer's no. except she desires to get a divorce, after all. If the tally is lower than 70 percentage, you don’t need to say no, yet you need to wait till you sober as much as truly decide. As a facet profit, this makes you seem like the in charge one. four) hold rubbers. Like my pricey previous grandma constantly used to assert prior to her liver ultimately gave out (my different grandma, that's; now not the person who bought hit by way of a bus), not anything takes the shine off a drunken roll within the hay swifter than a child. Or an STD. Or a toddler with an STD. whereas learning this merchandise I googled “drunk intercourse” and stumbled on a video made by means of a lovable convalescing alcoholic during which she waxes nostalgic in regards to the days while she used to get blotto and screw each man in sight. between different issues, she claims she enjoyed inebriated intercourse simply because it’s “sloppy and loopy and messy and nobody cares and you’re bleeding out of alternative orifices.