Love in the Time of Metal and Flesh

By Jay Lake

  • Markus Selvage has been bent through lifestyles, flooring up and spit out back. In San Francisco's darkest sexual underground, he's a perpetual blameless, having a look inside of our bodies — his personal and others’ — for the misplaced secrets and techniques of delight. yet severe physique amendment is barely the start of the place he'll move ahead of he is finished...

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You wasted her love, Markus. You drove her away attempting to pull her too shut, Markus. ” “No. ” He argues, knee-deep in unquiet dust. “I didn't. ” “Love cuts either methods. ” reminiscence: a flash of knives, an arc of blood, laughter at the tight, screeching fringe of fearsome insanity and maddening worry. Orgasms can erupt from any slit within the physique, not only the information and gashes nature meant. “We regularly sewed ourselves close again,” Markus says. “Seamster. Tailor guy. ” The colon turns out distantly amused, virtually scornful. “What could you're making? You wasted her love. You wasted her. ” “I simply sought after her shut! ” he shouts, middle pounding, brain spinning uncontrolled. “Close. ” The colon gurgles loud, then settles down. “What is shut? ” “Close is love. ” “Close is pathology. Stand by myself, guy, stand on my own. ” He realizes he's actually arguing with a shithole. “No. I don’t wish . . . this. ” The colon doesn't appear to resent his opinion. “It is just too overdue to choose what you will have. ” “It’s by no means too late,” Markus grumbles. Then the wave washes greater and better, he tumbles downward, outward, southward, flying at velocity into the desert of futures previous. “You recognize the place she is,” the colon echoes after him in a foetid blast. background 102 the 1st time Sail sewed Markus with a needle used to be the evening of his 10th birthday. such a lot Saturdays she set the women to sleep at the porch or within the automobile, if it used to be chilly sufficient. She saved Markus in the home these nights for his or her quiet evenings jointly. That his 10th birthday fell on a Saturday was once anything Sail observed as a reason for added party. “I’m sorry you don’t have a celebration, my little man,” his mom advised him that afternoon. Anna and Tildy sat on the card desk with Markus and Sail, the 4 of them sharing a cake made of oatmeal and molasses, with Crisco and brown sugar frosting. “I’m sorry, too, Momma,” he stated, fingers folded at the desk. A yr in the back of at school, Markus was once constantly too tall, too gawky, too outdated, too gradual, too immense. Too. His complete existence used to be toos. at the least she’d enable Anna and Tildy visit university on time. There the 3 of them have been, first, moment and 3rd grade, even though he must have been in fourth, or perhaps even 5th, via his age and dimension. the home had replaced through the years, too. Sail had taken up portray, totally on items of silk from the Goodwills in Lockhart and Austin, which she offered for adequate cash for dope and beer and foodstuff, in approximately that order. Saturday nights, if he was once strong, and reliable to her, Markus bought to proportion the dope and beer. whilst she didn’t have silk, she painted the partitions. ultimately, she stapled bedsheets over the work and painted extra, however the staples tended to paintings free, in order that the partitions turned a billowing, sagging shirt of colour and trend, nice abstracted sunflowers and little VW microbuses with almost-Deadhead bears dancing in the back of them like a Jerry Garcia ulcer dream, crossed with purple-eyed unicorns and louche Aztec maidens with brown-tipped breasts that have been all too commonplace to Markus, and a dozen different fevered visions beside.

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