By Ned Rorem
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Additional info for The Later Diaries of Ned Rorem 1961-1972
Oh, my head’s packed with thoughts—musical and literal—but whilst I’m seated to inscribe them (as now), a “why hassle” lethargy units in. homicide through inertia, the supracontradiction pointed up within the younger between Themselves. Wednesday, I gave an immense banquet, wishing it have been over ahead of it all started (which doesn’t make for a hostlike tone). From nerves I received inebriated regardless of what the health care professional warned. The potatoes have been underdone, the roast overdone, the salad too highly spiced, the wine bitter; yet my mint cake and strawberry mousse have been divine. Frank O’Hara went too some distance in insulting Menotti (the visitor, i guess, of honor); Bobby Lewis in doing an imitation of Mary backyard broke my top glass; John Taras used to be the following for hours earlier than I acknowledged hi; John Pritchard arrived after the bourbon had given out. And invoice Flanagan, clean from one other incarceration, arrived 5 hours overdue with sunken eyes. I retired by myself at sunrise with tears and a tranquilizer. this night, unhappy back. Dined at Shirley’s with the Goodmans whom I hadn’t obvious in years. Sally, no much less lovely than within the San Remo days, has turn into a compulsive talker, and speaks to me with the martyred complicity of 1 Gentile housewife to a different. Paul, taking a look like a snug Jew, is extra pontifically cocksure than even Virgil, and requested me not anything approximately myself. among those events I’ve been to ballets and bars and am studying not anything. How do folks deal with? 17 February rest room to icebox to mattress to icebox to mattress to rest room to icebox daily and little else. the telephone woke me this morning: Newell Jenkins to claim that our Nell used to be lifeless in Washington. She’d lain useless for days prior to the police broke into the room. … With unhappy aid I felt: so it’s eventually occurred! And for hours now involuntarily I’ve been reviewing our seventeen years of on-and-off friendship. Curious how my elephantine keep in mind pronounces I’ve now not led a lifestyles yet lives: each one overlapping strand with each pal completes its separate journey and, like muscle fiber, by no means joins other than in a diary’s blur. Nell Tangeman was once the 1st to sing my songs titanic Time, setting up us either as “recital purchasers” in an age whilst the recital used to be via. yet in analyzing our mutual adventures (through city corridor, Turin, resort Bisson, AA, Denver) till her gloomy long-distance demands assist in an unrecognizable voice six weeks ago—was this the mezzo that introduced 1000 lovers? —I see that every was once punctured (I intended to jot down punctuated) by way of a country of pressure; states which to others could take place 4 or 5 instances in a life-time have been, to her, weekly. whereas considering, “God, did I do all i may! ” I upload in fright, “There yet for His grace cross I! ” For Nell used to be not in my existence whilst she died. yet for a time she was once it. this present day the sunlight streams via all my rooms. 20 February In a wide parlor at Bobby Lewis’ Katonah condo for the weekend, to determine and scent replaced culmination and air, the morose air, faraway from the angular urban I already omit and love. Is there being born this present day a person I’ll finally sleep with?